[中][ENG] 邱加希：一往無前的步行者 KT Yau Ka-hei: An Invincible Roamer
邱加希KT Yau Ka-hei; 攝Photo: WORLDWIDE DANCER PROJECT
起步：穿白衣的男人
The Starting Point: A Man in White
訪問照的拍攝地點，說好由邱加希提供。這位自初中時代住在深井、剛掄下今屆香港舞蹈年獎「新晉編舞」的嬌小女生，如同探險隊頭目，引領我們潛入汀九某個迴旋處，鑽下某條窄長樓梯，抵達別有洞天的行車天橋橋底，正是她私藏的秘密基地之一。
Having lived in Sham Tseng since junior high school, K.T. Yau Ka-hei, the Emerging Choreographer laureate of this year’s Hong Kong Dance Awards, chose it as the place for the shooting location of this interview. As if the commander of an expedition, the petite young woman leads us to a roundabout in Ting Kau. Sneaking past a long narrow staircase, we arrive to a hidden spot of charm under a flyover, one of her treasured secret bases.
衣飾和假髮換了又換，一拍就拍了兩個小時，午後陽光剛好跑離最毒辣的位置，邱加希說要在回程路上讓我們瞧瞧「其他拍照的好地方」，於是我們跟隨著她的腳步與視線，觀摩了「像是會在白雪公主童話出現的那棵大樹」、「一直往下跑就會抵達的無人美麗沙灘」、「住客從不露面的落地玻璃豪宅」等地方，在彷彿沒有盡頭的青山公路走了半小時後，終於抵達她的壓軸景點：機場核心計劃展覽中心。
The shooting lasts for two hours as Yau changes in and out of costumes and wigs, and just as we finish, the afternoon sunshine becomes less scorching. Yau wants us to have a look at “other nice shooting places” on our way back, so we follow her lead, and visit sites including “the tree in the story of Snow White”, “the vacant beautiful beach arrived by running down”, and “the mansion with floor-to-ceiling windows whose dwellers never show up”. Walking on the never-ending Castle Peak Road for half an hour, we at last come to her final spot: Airport Core Program Exhibition Center.
邱加希一個箭步跑進展覽中心花園，湊到觀景望遠鏡前看了看，然後招手示意我們也湊過去。首先映進鏡頭的，是最遙遠的馬灣海峽海平線，前面橫放著車水馬龍的青馬大橋，再往近處看，有緩緩駛近的貨輪，貨輪上有疊高的各色貨櫃，鏡頭再拉近......
Yau runs to the garden of the Exhibition Center, glances through the binoculars provided on the rooftop and beckons us to do so as well. Looking through the lens, at the farthermost horizon out into the sea, the Ma Wan Channel first comes into our vision; in front of it is the bustling Tsing Ma Bridge, with cargo ships stacked with all sorts of containers sailing slowly nearby.
「看到嗎？」
“Can you see it?”
「貨輪上有個白色上衣的男人，正在走近貨櫃，看到嗎？」
“There is a man in white approaching the container on the freighter. Can you spot him?”
汪洋偌大，最能聚焦這位九十後年輕編舞視線的，還是「人」的存在。
In such a big world, what catches the attention of this young post-1990s choreographer most is still the existence of “man”.
//終於抵達她的壓軸景點：機場核心計劃展覽中心。 we at last come to her final spot: Airport Core Program Exhibition Center.//
攝Photo: 羅妙妍 Miu Law
上斜：有經歷的作品
Furthering Upslope: Productions with Experience
「我鍾意行路。」以邱加希這句話作為契機，是次訪問成了一趟以深井為起點的長途城市散步，一直向前走下去，「我無耐性，同一件事不可以做好多次；但行路去一個終點不同，沿路會有不同人、不同車經過，可以看到不同的東西，有好細微的轉變。」
“I love walking.” Yau announces, and her predilection turns the interview into a long-distance roaming through the city starting from Sham Tseng. “I am a restless person who cannot tolerate doing the same thing, but walking to a destination is distinct. On the way are different people and cars passing by; I can see different things owing to the subtle changes.”
長途步行的路途上，喜歡獨行抑或有人同行？她答得乾脆迅速：「自己行。」
With her habit of taking long walks, does Yau prefer walking alone or with a companion? She answers without hesitation: “Alone.”
創作路上呢？今次想了半晌：「自己行......但間中有人經過。」
How about on the road of creation? She ponders for a moment this time: “Alone, but there are sometimes people passing by.”
創作總有舉步維艱的時刻，跟偶爾路過的人交心幾句，有如及時雨。
There are always hard times when we create. Talking to the passers-by is just like a timely rain that can help us get over it.
邱加希作品《睇我唔到》Yau’s Remain Invisible; 攝Photo: Eric Hong
邱加希回憶2016年創作自編自跳作品《睇我唔到》，每次排舞前，總要先窩在多空間排練室的沙發上大哭一輪，壓力大要哭，想不通要哭，錄影器材不中用也要哭，哭夠了就自己抹乾眼淚：「電影《黃金花大酒店》有句對白好好，『如果現在事情未夠好，是因為還未到最後。』這也是我一直堅持的想法——還未到最後，所以才未夠好吧。雖然每次這樣提醒自己時都已經是好抑鬱的狀態，但一定要經歷，我不希望只做出一個『開開心心』的作品，希望會是一個有經歷的作品。」
Recalling Remain Invisible, a production she choreographed and performed in 2016, Yau remembers crying her heart out on the sofa in the rehearsal room of Y-Space before every rehearsal. She cried because she was under substantial stress; cried when she could not figure things out; and even cried when the recording equipment broke down, and wiped the tears on her own. “A quote from the movie The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel is really good, ‘If it's not all right, it is not yet the end.’ This is also a thought I have been holding on to—it is not yet the end and that is why things are not alright. Although I am very depressed already every time I remind myself of this belief, I have to go through such a state. Instead of nothing but a ‘happy’ production, I want my works to reflect my experience.”
《睇我唔到》定格的經歷，是邱加希親身走過的混沌時刻。當時她剛從以色列的舞團課程返港，旁人對她「學成歸來」的期望與眼光，讓她霎時無法適應，亦不斷反思自己在這個階段的轉變應該是甚麼，「最終我決定，要讓人專注於我的身體，首先是不讓人看見我的身體。」《睇我唔到》容許觀眾有限度地看見舞者的身體，而舞者則從來都看不見觀眾，當觀演雙方都擺脫了「看見」的蒙蔽，表演者就能在「不被看見」中表現出一個真正的自己，從而重新思考何謂舞台上舞者的「身體」？「身體」以何種方式存在，才稱得上是「表演」？
The freeze-framed experiences in Remain Invisible are the chaos Yau has undergone. After completing a dance program in Israel, Yau could not meet with other people’s expectation and the way they perceived her, causing her to unceasingly reflect on the changes she should make at that stage. “In the end I came up with a notion. In order to make people focus on my body, I cannot let them first see my body.” In Remain Invisible, the audience can see the body of the dancer within limits, while the dancer can never see the audience. When both the audience and the performer get rid of the veil of “seeing”, the latter can show his or her true colors as “they are not seen”, and rethink notions about the dancer’s “body” on the stage, as well as the circumstances that make the “body” qualify as a “performance”.
邱加希作品《純生》Yau’s Unmixed ; 攝Photo: 張志偉 Cheung Chi-wai
小憩：身體傳達的行動
A Break: Actions Expressed by the Body
步行了一個多小時、快要抵達荃灣之前，我們在途經的公共碼頭歇息一會。碼頭盡頭有三個陌生中年漢，或站或坐，各自面向不同方向，喝著啤酒悠閒垂釣，間中互相搭話。邱加希看得出神，緩緩地說：「其實我不太相信跳舞。」
Walking for about an hour, we take a break at the public pier on the way to Tsuen Wan. At the end of the pier are three middle-aged men, strangers. They either stand or sit, facing different directions, drinking beers, and casting their fishing lines at ease. Entranced, Yau slowly says, “Actually, I do not really believe in dancing.”
「我意思是，我不會執著於『跳舞』這個字眼。『跳舞』不一定是主要的傳達手法，但我相信人的身體能夠傳達。」
“I mean, I do not persist in the word ‘dancing’. ‘Dancing’ is not the main expression; I am convinced that our bodies are equally competent.”
這位舞者訓練出身的編舞，雖然也享受肢體舞動的過程，觀舞時也覺賞心悅目，但自己編舞時追求的美學，並非純肢體舞蹈，她指指碼頭盡處：「我就是會被人的身體、模樣所吸引。你看那三個站著的男人，三個人的身體存在就是一個構圖，而這個畫面傳達了三人的狀態和關係，但他們不是在『跳舞』。」
Trained as a dancer, the choreographer enjoys moving her body, and finds dance appreciation delightful, but the aesthetic Yau pursues in choreography is not merely about dancing with limbs. She points at the end of the pier, “I am just attracted to people’s bodies and faces. Look at the three standing men. The existence of their bodies is the composition of a picture, which tells the state and relationship between them and yet, they are not ‘dancing’.”
「編舞時，我嘗試尋找表演者如何用最少最少的舞步，達到最多樣、最強的狀態。」她在2017年的編舞作品《純生》當中，讓四位表演者的身體受限於椅子上，以實際及比喻層面的枷鎖表達面對社會規範時，肉身與意志的角力。她說這是她暫時為數不多的編舞作品中感受最深的一個，「我嚮往的創作，不希望純粹追求『靚』，也不純粹追求具美感的動作。《純生》的『舞』不是（身體）運動，而是一個行動。這些都是觀眾教我的，是觀眾的分享讓我知道可以做得到。」
“When I choreograph, I try to find out how the performer can achieve the most diverse and strongest state with the least steps.” In her 2017 production Unmixed, the bodies of four performers are restricted to wheeled stools, which is a practical and figurative device representing the wrestling between our body and mind in the face of social norms. Yau adds that by far she feels it is the deepest among her limited body of work. The creative works I aspire to are neither purely about ‘beauty’ nor aesthetic movements. The ‘dance’ in Unmixed is not a bodily routine, but actions. The audience teaches me these and lets me know that they are achievable.”
「有些觀眾看完後，跟我說『多謝』。我相信那句『多謝』的意思是，其實大家都有話想說，然後在作品裡共鳴得到，精神上得到互通和支持，就像一句『我了解』。我以前不知道，創作《純生》後我就意識到，原來作品可以提供到一種釋放。藝術改變世界可能是一個好遙遠的追求，在未抵達這個目標之前，藝術還有另一種意義：我的作品未救到社會、未救到政治，未救到教育制度，但在那半小時我與大家一起釋放，一起去感受自己可以擁有的自由。」
“Some audience members say ‘thank you’ to me after seeing my work. I think what that ‘thank you’ means is that we all have something to tell. The production strikes a chord with the audience, mentally offering them understanding and support, which is like saying ‘I understand’ to them. I did not know that before; after producing Unmixed, I become conscious that productions can provide us a kind of liberation. Art changing the world is perhaps a lofty pursuit. Before accomplishing that goal, art has another meaning: my works may not have saved society, politics, or the education system, but in that half an hour I will release myself with you all and feel the freedom we can possess.”
「《純生》就像喝了一口汽水，喝了那口汽水能否讓觀眾在剩下的人生都不口渴？那是不可能的，但至少觀眾有過爽快打嗝的一刻，接下來就有力量去找下一個打嗝的時刻。這就是屬於我的、在劇場裡改變世界的方式。」
“Unmixed is like having a sip of soda. Can it quench the audience’s thirst for the rest of their lives? That is impossible, but at least they can feel refreshed and have a nice burp, acquiring the strength to find the next refreshing moment. This is how I change the world in the theater.”
邱加希KT Yau Ka-hei; 攝Photo: WORLDWIDE DANCER PROJECT
大直路：唯有實質的才值得
A Straight Road: Only the Real is Worthwhile
拍攝訪問照的時候，邱加希一連換了三個假髮，連帶換了三種不同性格的造型，「我喜歡自己形象多變，髮型改變了，衣著服飾都換了個形象，帶動整個人的身體狀態和行為都有所改變，那時我就好像演繹著一個跟平時不一樣的角色，但不管哪種性格或模樣，都是真實的我。我只是不想對自己的形象感到沉悶。」
While shooting the interview photos, Yau changes wigs three times, accordingly creating three different personas. “I like to have an ever-changing image. When I change my hair styles and outfits, my condition and behavior change correspondingly, as if I am acting as another character. However, no matter which personality or appearance I show, they are all my true selves. I just do not want to get bored with my image.”
「我不喜歡做同樣的事，每個作品一開始，都是出於想試一樣『未有idea的東西』，我是對那種『未知的東西』感興趣。就算是同一個作品，看十次串排我都要讓自己有新鮮感，我不能悶。」
“I do not like repetitions. Every production I do starts from the desire to try ‘a thing not backed with an idea’; what interests me is the ‘unknown’. Even for the same production, they have to stay new every time I watch it in rehearsal. I just cannot stand tedious stuff.”
「你是無法從我口中問到我喜歡甚麼不喜歡甚麼的，我每天都在變，我要變，我沒有特定的一個模樣。」
“You cannot know from me the things I like and dislike. I am changing every day. I have to change, and I do not have a fixed look.”
頂著一頭方便戴除假髮的標誌式短髮，邱加希再三強調自己是個耐不住沉悶、貪玩、愛新鮮的人。
With iconic short hair that allows her to wear wigs whenever she wants, Yau repeatedly stresses that she is a person who cannot bear dullness and loves fun and novelty.
某天也會覺得跳舞很悶嗎？狡黠的眼珠一轉，像是開玩笑又像是認真回答：「會吧。」
Will she find dancing boring some day? Rolling her mischievous eyes, Yau answers half jokingly and half seriously, “Maybe.”
邱加希KT Yau Ka-hei; 攝Photo: WORLDWIDE DANCER PROJECT
不跳舞的話，要做些甚麼？幻想力大作的編舞東拉西扯了一大堆，彷彿每拋出一種可能性就換一種顏色的假髮：「耕田，也可以啊。」「造麵包吧。大家都說我跳舞的手臂力強，我覺得我都蠻合適。我每天還可以造不同味道、形狀和質感的麵包呢。」「如果不跳舞......我可以步行籌款，公益金百萬行。（笑）」
If she doesn’t dance, what would she want to do? The imaginative choreographer talks about numerous possibilities, as though each possibility is like changing the color of a wig. “Farming is alright. Maybe baking bread is more suitable. People say that I have got a strong arm for dancing. I can make breads of various tastes, shapes, and textures every day. I can also participate in charity walks like the Walks for Millions, if I do not dance.”
可以成為的模樣數之不盡，有絕對不想成為的模樣嗎？
There are countless possibilities for Yau, is there something that she absolutely doesn’t want to?
「我不希望我會有一天沉醉於『覺得自己的創作好有趣』。要是盲目覺得自己的創作有趣，固執地享受著，就會失掉想追求的未知吧……」
“I hope not to be intoxicated with the thought that ‘my creation is really intriguing’ one day. If I am blindly interested in my works and enjoy them obstinately, I will probably lose the unknown I seek.”
從白晝走到入黑，走過高速公路穿過架空天橋又繞過大遠路，五個小時以後我們終於抵達目的地：太子界限街。站在城市舊時的界限前，一起細細感受著肌肉與血液經歷長時間運動的狀態，想起邱加希在起點如此說過：「我喜歡勞力，憑著勞力抵達目標會好有成功感，因為那是靠自己行出來的路。身體勞累的狀態好實質，成果好實質。因為實質，所以我覺得值得。」
From dawn till dusk, we walk on a highway, pass through a flyover, and take a detour, finally arriving at our destination after five hours: the Boundary Street in Prince Edward. Standing before the historic boundary of the city, we together feel the condition of our muscles and blood after a long period of exercise, and recall what Yau has said at the starting point: “I love working. I get a great sense of accomplishment through working, as it is a way I make on my own. My exhausted body and achievements are real. And because they are real, I find the work worthwhile.”
