[中][Eng] 兩個獎項之間，兩個生命階段 Between Two Awards and Two Stages of Life
1. 華琪鈺於2015年獲得最值得表揚女舞蹈員獎。 Tina Hua received the award for Outstanding Performance by a Female Dancer in 2015. 攝影 Photographer：Mark Lam
圓滿了生命的獎項
A Completion in Life
對舞蹈員來說，所謂的身體，不單指肉體甚至是舞蹈的技巧上，而是他們之於舞台上的整體，也包含舞台下的生活，那些影響藝術生命的各種。以致訪問香港舞蹈團舞者、香港舞蹈年獎2013及2015最值得表揚女舞蹈員華琪鈺時，我們總圍繞她產前和產後的種種變化，而不僅止於舞台上的舞蹈藝術問題。有趣的是令她兩次得獎的作品《舞。雷雨》及《梁祝。傳說》正好在有孩子的前與後發生，她說2013年獲獎其實沒有太大喜悅，原因是她一直以來很渴望獲得這個獎項，然而經過多年便覺得獎是天時地利的配合，也沒得強求。故此當真的得獎，她當然很高興，但渴望的熱情不再濃烈，更多是有感到圓滿了舞蹈生命一個階段的感恩。
When dancers think about the body it is not just about the skillful dancing body, they consider it more holistically, drawing influences for their artistic journey from the stage as well as from life experiences. In talking with Hua Chi Yu, Hong Kong Dance Company dancer and recipient of Hong Kong Dance Awards for Outstanding Performance by Female Dancer in 2013 and 2015, the focus was not just on her stage life but also on the changes she experienced before and after giving birth to her first child. Interestingly, this major life event was framed by her two award-winning performances in Thunderstorm and The Butterfly Lovers. In 2013, she was happy to receive the award, however, rather than feeling enormous joy, she experienced a sense of completion of a chapter in her dance life, partly because she had wanted to gain the type of recognition the Dance Award conveys for a long time. When she finally got one, she was pregnant and the year was filled with turning points in her career and in her life.
2. 兒子的誕生成為她和丈夫生命不可或缺的部分。 Tina Hua with her son and her husband, Huang Lei. 相片由受訪者提供 Photo provider: Tina Hua
母愛豐富舞蹈
Motherhood Perfects her Dance
另一方面，因得獎前已懷孕，以使那年頭像是生命的轉折點，在恩喜地迎接即將來臨的兒子時，也為可能因生產、體形變化、或公司不再給予主要演出位置等，使舞蹈生命結束而恐懼。關於身形及體力轉變，更因香港一般對產後工作女性沒多正面支持，舞者承受著難以想像的精神壓力。幸而，產後舞蹈團仍給予她演出的機會，消去不少壓力。以使當2015年再次獲獎時，她認為真正獲得一個藝術上的認同，更重要是對作為人母的舞者身分的一個肯定，令她的喜悅更大於2013年之時。她說舞者必須有了人生經歷，舞者才更有其質感。當上母親後，她更有一種完整了女性生命的感覺，重要是當她回到舞台，所帶出來的氣息更有生命力。她舉例當要在台上演繹「愛」時，那不再只是男女的情，也有對自身母性的，及孩子的愛，令舞蹈充滿層次，幾種愛相互交纏，讓她的動作立體化。這似乎也是她能短時間內再度得獎的其中一個原因。確實，她走過了人生一個階段，而開展了生命中不只有自我的時光而備受肯定。
On the one hand, Hua was excited about the arrival of a newborn son. On the other, she was worried that giving birth would cause extreme changes in the shape of her body. She was concerned that the company might no longer assign her main roles and that could mean the end of her dance career. In general, protection and positive support for workingwomen in Hong Kong during maternity is less than ideal and dancers often undergo serious mental stress after pregnancy. Fortunately, Hua’s company has been very supportive and this has eased her fears and diminished the pressures on her. So, when she received her second award in 2015, aside from gaining recognition as an outstanding performer, what was more important for her was that it was an affirmation of her as a female dancer and a mother, an occasion of tremendous joy compared to when she received the award in 2013. In her acceptance speech, she remarked as a dancer, her life experiences helped enrich the quality of her performance. Since she became a mother, she feels she has experienced the completeness of a women’s life. Moreover, when she returned to the stage, these experiences brought more vitality to her performance. She offers the example of when she has to interpret the expression of love in a role, it is no longer just the love between a man and a woman, but the love of a mother for her child. She feels her movements have become more textured as a result of these multiple layers of love, giving them a new dimension. Perhaps this is one of the reasons she was able to become a two-time award-winner in such a short period of time. Indeed, she feels that when she passed the stage of life where concern is just for oneself and started embracing others, public affirmation followed.
3. 《梁祝。傳說》演出照，舞者為華琪鈺及其丈夫黃磊。 Tina Hua performs The Butterfly Lovers with Huang Lei. 攝影 Photographer：Henry Wong
基礎和歷練成就美麗
The Importance of Foundation and Life Experience
談及懷孕時的恐懼，華琪鈺在訪問中不時提到她對「專業」的見解。她談到產後身形暴變的她進行了一場地獄式特訓，務求追趕回以前的狀態。她強調舞團不同於學校，它沒必要、亦無多餘時間給予舞者學習的平台或機會，而是需要舞者裝備好自己，以最好的狀態投入工作。當我問及她對年輕的舞者或學生有什麼提點時，她只說舞者必須每天練習基本功，勤力永遠是舞者的必要條件。她認為或者她那一代人年少時沒有現有較好的生活質素，故比較懂吃苦的意義及重要性。她認為舞者就是要不斷鍛鍊，進舞團或排練室前就要準備就緒。於是我再問她，當舞者年齡漸長了，作為人母體力也總會下降，妳喜歡有經驗但體力少了的時候，還是年輕時沒經驗卻有衝勁的時候？她二話不說回答是現在，她把手遞到我眼前旋轉著說：「年輕時舞者會拼了命去完成一個完整的圓，但現在我知道不需要那種用力，卻能畫出更美的圓。」這就是華琪鈺，自信而努力的舞者，同時是一位優雅又保持稚氣的母親。
When talking about her fears during pregnancy, Hua often mentions her idea of professionalism. She talked extensively about the series of disciplined workouts she used to reshape her body from its drastic postpartum physical changes to its pre-pregnancy state. Also, she stressed the difference between company and school environment. A company doesn’t need to provide time, opportunity, or a platform for a dancer to learn, instead, the dancer needs to take the initiative to equip oneself to be in the best state for work. When I asked her if she had any advice for young dancers and students, she said that daily basic training practice and hard work are essential. She thinks that her generation focused less on quality of life than the next generation hence she understands the meaning and the significance of hardship. For her, to be a dancer means going through a diligent training process of continuous refinement of skills in order to be in top form before entering a company or even a rehearsal studio. I asked her, when a dancer grows older, and after becoming a mother, there might be significant physical decline. Would she prefer the state she’s in now where she has richer life experiences but a less energetic body or when she was young and inexperienced but full of immense energy? Her immediate answer was NOW. She then rotated her hand in a circular motion and said, “When I was a young dancer, I would exhaust all my energy to complete this full circle. But now, I understand that this kind of use of energy is not the only way to draw a beautiful circle.” And this is my impression of Hau Chi Yu, a confident and determined dancer, at the same time an elegant new mother.
